How To Build A Street In Korea

This is a reference to aid all Korean city planners in the future. Anyone who's been here for a while knows that every street in Korea is exactly the same and features all of the same conveniences. At the same time is is both mundane and relaxingly predictable, because you know exactly what will and will not be conveniently located just around the corner. So here you have it folks, the eleven businesses necessary for any Korean street to function:

1. Paris Baguette- the ubiquitous bakery in Korea. Here's a tip: your successful Paris Baguette should be fully stocked with sweet garlic bread, larvae sandwiches, and donuts filled with chunks of butter at all times.

2. 7/11 or GS25 or IGA mart or Family mart or With Me- Or how about all five? All Korean streets must have a convenience store on each corner with an unlimited selection of sweet chips, kimbap triangles and beer within. And no matter what the store is named they must all sell the exact same items. Variety is not appreciated and will not be tolerated!

3. Norebang- Can your kareoke room please include as much Westlife and Backstreet Boys in your playlist as possible?


4. Kimbap Heaven- Cheap and easy Korean comfort food. On our brief walk to work we pass three of these. The menu is available in english here if anything on there tickles your fancy.

5. Miscellaneous women's clothing store- that sells the same $5 t-shirts as the miscillaneous women's clothing store on the next street.

6. Random coffee shop- Maybe it's a Starbucks, maybe it's a Coffee Bean, Dunkin Donuts or a Tossico, but there's a few on every street and there's nothing wrong with that.

7. Baskin Robbins- very popular here and never too far away. The balanced Baskin Robbins menu should include some combination of red bean, pumpkin and green tea ice creams. Also on the menu should be an ice cream fondue with tomatoes.

8. Lotteria- The korean version of McDonalds has got to be the worst fast food place ever! But they're so popular here, I don't understand! I guess some people enjoy heat lamped food and bulgogi sauce on everything. I've gotten raw burgers there too, but- hey on the bright side it is cheap.

9. Show- Most koreans have at least two cell phones and most streets have 4 or 5 cell phone shops that sell the trendiest new phones. Show is the shop I see most often, and we have our phone through them as well. Cells are so cheap here! We text as much as we like and it's never more than 15,000 a month.

10. A wedding hall- Weddings are big business here and the waiting lists are quite long to get a spot in the wedding halls. A woman at work got married in the winter and our co-workers said that there was another couple waiting to get hitched as soon as her service was finished! A lot of the halls are castle shaped- we live behind one... I'd love to get married in a castle! Cool.

11. A western chain resaraunt- such as Outback, TGI Fridays or Bennigans- tasty recognizable food, often with free salad bar- wheee!!

Please note that there should be absolutely no Tim Hortons, Drive-thrus or sandwich shops on your street. Other things that are discouraged include nameing the street, street numbers or civic addresses. If your street does not have a u-turn lane it may be permanently shut down.