Gay Birthday

Mark's birthday was on Friday and we celebrated by eating our faces off AS PER USUAL. On Thursday night- his birthday-eve, A-mei (our school's hilarious tigress/accountant) invited us out to her father's BBQ restaurant to eat and for Kris to have a photo shoot. We met under Jesus and she and Kris's friend drove us all to the restaurant, which was near Longshan Temple. I've eaten at a lot of BBQ restaurants but the food here was out of this world, and I'm not just saying that because I'm biased. As soon as we sat down beers were poured, and the dishes started arriving: the softest, creamiest deep-fried tofu, glazed short ribs, steaks, hot pot, squid, fish chins, veggies and probably more stuff I can't remember. She said that all the food is cooked with charcoal first, which gives it a nicer flavor as opposed to other restaurants here that will mainly cook with gas. And she wouldn't accept a penny for the meal. We love A-mei!

On Friday, Mark's dream- like many 12 year old girls before him- of celebrating his birthday at the Hello Kitty restaurant was fulfilled. We were even seated at the most enviable and pinkest of all tables in Kitty's kingdom, the one raised booth which overlooks all the other lesser tables. Really though, the table was comically long for the six of us but we needed the extra room after all the food we enjoyed!

You may remember from my last visit that the Hello Kitty Cafe serves the sweetest food imaginable. As in diabetic coma levels of sweetness. Mel and I decided to share an entree (Kitty's spaghetti, ordered without the raw egg on top, thank you) and a dessert set (Kitty's creme brule with sesame cookie and sugar covered fruit. It was all very tasty and didn't leave my head spinning nearly as much as the chocolate tart from last time.

After the meal came the obligatory photo shoot, which is probably the main reason most people go to this cafe. If you are a Hello Kitty fan, this is the place for you. Everything, from the napkins to the urinal have Kitty's mouthless face on them. Above: tough guys with some Victorian-looking Hello Kitty art. There are more like this but I'll spare you.

When the staff found out that it was Mark's birthday, and it was proven with ID, they stuck a candle on his chocolate tart (yes, that chocolate tart) and played "Happy Birthday" over the speakers for him. On his way out they also let him choose any cake under $280NT to take home with him in a very special little pink bag, which he proudly carried around with one pinky up in the air. How nice of Kitty!

"Puffy" figures out our bill. This is always a big deal because when Taiwanese people dine one person usually pays for the meal. Our asses go dutch.

Mark is a big movie fan and since he'd already seen every movie at the theater we went to the one movie no one would ever go see unless it was the last one in town they hadn't watched yet: Old Dogs. The things you do for a friend. Summary: Robin Williams (in a demure, under-acted role) finds out that he fathered some children with his Vegas wife 7 years ago and babysits them with his BFF John Travolta while their mother goes to jail for two weeks. Then for some reason they wind up in a series of zany misadventures, they get attacked by penguins, a dog needlessly dies and a hand model loses her hands. Damn I wish we could have seen this in IMAX.

Next we went to Mark's favorite gay bar, the Bear Bar. Who doesn't like to go out for drinks on a nice night on a patio? Well the only patio that we've found is in the gay district of Ximen. The Bear Bar is a bit of a running joke with me and my friends because the bartender, Butt Crack guy, has a crush on me and there's lots of funny gay things happening everywhere at all times: tonight we even saw some beautiful drag queens there (yes, we went back tonight). It's fun. Oh yeah, the above photo is of Nareesa once again having a problem with stairs- a single step up to our table.

We were given a complimentary gay magazine filled with lots of fun ideas for things to do in Taipei such as a body to body massage where the masseuse comes to your house. I think that's called prostitution. PS: Mark took the magazine home with him.

We had some beers and teas and dissected the Hello Kitty-shaped cake Mark had been given (I'm sure this made us the envy of the gay bar), and then at the end of the night my boyfriend took a picture of us with the Bear Bar's giant stuffed bear. Happy birthday Mark, it was fun- hope you had a bear-y good night!

Loyal Customer

Just like at home, most stores in Taiwan have some kind of loyalty program to keep you coming back for more. We have a points card at Carrefour and we're VIPs at Fish Noodle, but I usually don't collect points or stamps at most of the stores here EXCEPT (of course!) at Mister Donut. Saving up our Mister Donut points is a a fun project... a task we set for ourselves to complete before the end of the promotion. First we got a free pack of Mister Donut playing cards featuring all of the cutesy donut characters on the cards, and then yesterday we got a 2-tiered container shaped like our favorite Mister Donut character, Pon De Lion!

What will we keep in it? Donuts, probably.

Admiring The Queen's Head From A Distance In Yehliu

While trying to Google up some easy day trips in the Taipei/Taipei County area I came across some photos of the Yehliu Geopark and decided we had to visit the area on our next sunny day. With a constant thick cloud cover over northern Taiwan lately we get about one non-gray day every week and today was that special day for us. Since we're on winter vacation and the days are starting to all blend together and our sleeping schedules are totally out of whack, we left at an exhausting time- 11am- and headed to the inter-city bus terminal in Taipei.

We were glad to a)find the bus terminal easily and b)find that buses were cheap (less than $3/CAN) and frequent (every 15-20 minutes). We stopped at the Taipei Main Station food court for some lunch before we left- I got a tzatziki chicken wrap and some Mövenpick stracciatella ice cream for desert. Mövenpick is my new dessert obsession- it's the richest, creamiest, best ice cream I've ever had. As you can tell from the photo, Mel didn't get a cone.

We were pretty excited to take the bus to Yehliu.

The ride took about 90 minutes, 30 minutes of which were spent in traffic trying to get on the freeway out of Taipei. We told the driver where we wanted to go so he showed us where to get off. We appreciated the help since he let us off on the side of the road in what appeared to be the middle of nowhere... we probably couldn't have guessed the stop ourselves. Pretty soon we saw English signs pointing us in the right directions and a short walk from where we were let off was a nice marina with lots of fishing boats at dock.

Oversized novelty light bulbs hung from each and every boat.

When we got to the Geopark entrance to buy our tickets we were pleased to find that we were only charged half price admission ($1 CAD instead of $2). We guess at why we had been so lucky- did they think we were students? Is it because we're so good looking? Minutes later we found out why we got such a bargain- two thirds of the park was closed for construction INCLUDING the Queen's Head, which is the most famous attraction, and the star of all those pictures I'd Googled that made me want to visit in the first place. What are the odds? Fail!

At this point I would just like to point out that all week things in Taiwan have been closed for us. Mel and I decided to visit the Museum of Contemporary Art on Monday and- guess what- it's closed on Mondays. Then we decided to go out for Korean BBQ and- guess what- it was closed (we went back an hour later when they were open and we shouldn't have, They charged separately for the lettuce to wrap your beef in! And there were no free side dishes! Shame on them). Tuesday night we had supper at a Vietnamese restaurant with one of Nareesa's friends. After supper we were going to get fancy cupcakes at a fancy cupcake shop in the mall. As we approached the store they turned off the lights, hid all the cupcakes and shook their heads at our request for cake. Then we decided to go elsewhere for desserts and the entire street seemed to be closed. At 10:30PM. In the capital city of the country. And now no Queen's Head? Faillllllll. Tearrrrs.

The area of the park that was open was pretty cool. The sun was shining and being near the water was a welcome change of scenery. No regrets about this trip at all.

The rock formations, caused by erosion, were awesome looking. It was like being on the moon, man.

Tourists on the moon.

The sign says "Caution- honeycombed rock has falled by geological process". Uh oh!

The park decided that a lot of the rocks look like things (possibly to make it seem like there were more attractions than just the Queen's Head). Above are the "candle rocks". If we'd been able to access the rest of the park there would have been rocks shaped like a dragon, an ape and bean curds.

Ice cream rock. The woman who took posed with this amazing rock after us squealed when she saw it, "Bing Chi Lee! Bing Chi Lee!"- yep, that's ice cream in Chinese. Guess who has a Mövenpick obsession and learned that word pretty fast a long time ago.

There was a thick red line painted along the coast that we weren't allowed to cross to go near the water. If you stepped over the line you got whistled at.

This lady, with the world's best hat, was immune to the whistles as she scraped her supper off a rock.

From the area that we were visiting we could see the stretch of land that contains the other forbidden two-thirds of the park.

For reference, this is what the Queen's head rock looks like. Thanks, Google. I read online that she is at risk of being "falled by geological process". Too bad they only have one Queen's Head!

With the camera zoomed in we could see the Queen's Head from a distance.

The vultures were starting to set in, so we decided to head back.

But wait... what's this? Queen's Head 2??? There's two Queen's Heads? This can't be. Let's follow the sign...

WTF!! Two months ago the park used lasers to carve a replica Queen's Head out of stone! And they put it up in a garden! Can you imagine if Egypt just lasered themselves another Sphinx? We posed with this poor man's Queen's Head, but we didn't like it.

On the way out of the park I noticed this noose conveniently hanging in the trees. Probably used by the last devastated tourist who didn't get to see the real Queen's Head!

Outside of the park there is a market where you can buy some souvenirs and fresh seafood. Or in the case of the above image, dried little fishies. Mmmm, sounds... crunchy.

A lady with a hot hat carrying a silver platter full of dried fishies.

Fish floss. Move over, cotton candy.

There was a quiet looking aquarium next to the Geopark, which we went in for a look around. Guess what? It was closed! Don't worry, there were still some shops and food vendors open- including one place where you could get a delicious looking coffee and popcorn combo. Mmmmm! Whenever I'm drinking a coffee I always wish I had some popcorn to munch on.

We walked back to the bus stop and our bus picked us up quite promptly. Our drive back to Taipei was a little shorter because we got off near the 101 to get some Thai food for supper before going back home and putting our new souvenir on proud display in our living room:

The Queen's Head! #1, not #2. We'll always remember how amazing she was, even from a distance.

Humidity

Check out the leather bracelet I left on a ledge near the wall in my bedroom. A few days ago I noticed it was growing mushrooms! There were some other things on the ledge that had a new layer of white on them too, upon closer inspection the walls and windows were growing black grossness on them, and our sheets and pillows are always feeling damp lately.

I think it's time to take all the bags off the dehumidifier.

Cat Cafe

We're cat people. All of our friends at home are cat people. We often find ourselves spending way too much time talking with our friends and families about the personalities of our cats and the things that they do. However, we are not the type of crazy cat people who choose to fly their cat halfway around the world just because we choose to spend a year abroad. So, our special little guy is chilling with our BFF Dayna and BCFF Lola back in New Brunswick for the year. We'd read that Taipei has several cat cafes where dozens of cats roam freely while dozens of cat lovers pet them, so today we decided to check out the first place Google directed us to: Minimal Cafe in the Shida Night Market.

Minimal Cafe is located at Lane 2, Number 42 Taishun Street, just around the corner from the hustle and bustle of the market. I've included the address in this post in case anyone else wants to find this place, because we had a little trouble locating it- all we knew was that it was on Taishun Street and there are dozens of Lanes branching off that one street. When we found the cafe we knew we were in the right place because there was a big orange cat laying on a picnic table in front of the building.

When I pictured the cat cafe I pictured a utopia of cute cats frolicking about, jumping on my lap and wanting to be petted. In reality, although the cats were cute (of course!) they didn't really want to be pet or touched and the place stunk like a litter box. As soon as we walked in and the smell of cat piss hit us we decided that we wouldn't be ordering any food. Health Canada would have this place shut down pretty fast; sad but true.

The cafe was packed, but the service was quite good. There weren't any tables available when we first arrived but while we were looking at a menu a waiter came over and showed us to a table that had opened up. The booth that we sat in had been scratched to pieces, and kind of reminded me of my sofa back home. Aw, I'm getting teary-eyed. Actually, everything had been scratched to bits in this cafe- even the lamps.

The cafe also provided cat toys for customers to use. The guy at the table next to us had one and managed to catch the interest of a couple of the younger cats. At first there weren't really any cats to be seen but as soon as he grabbed that toy they appeared, and they were obsessed with it! Even when the guy's food came and he stopped playing with the toy the cats just sat there staring at him, waiting to be played with some more.

These two spied the toy from the other end of the cafe and soon joined in on the action.

The cafe had lots of nooks and crannies for the cats to play and hang out.

One thing that I thought was a bit strange- though I have seen it before in Asia- is that the bathroom was a onesie with two toilets in it. Can you imagine sitting side by side with a stranger and using the bathroom like this? My theory is that one toilet is for customers and the other is for the cats to drink out of.

This guy was the smartest of them all- he slept on the coffee maker. It's probably the warmest spot. Probably-related sidenote: there was a hair in my cappuccino.

On our way out of the cafe (our allergies had started to act up!) we noticed this fellow relaxing on a scratched up chair. After we left we went to Kiwi Gourmet Burger for supper and then did some shopping at the market before coming home. Despite the smell of the cafe it was a fun place to visit to get a quick cat-fix, but of course it just made us think about our own special little guy back home, scratching up Dayna's apartment and making it smell juuuust right.

Nougat Museum! Wufenpu! Offspring Pail!

A few days ago Mel and I were looking through a display of Taiwan postcards at a souvenir shop to see if there were any interesting places on the postcards that we hadn't visited yet. Nope. It felt like we had pretty much gone through the whole list of touristy sites in the Taipei area but of course we were wrong. There was still one important place left to visit- The Nougat Museum. Weak!

The Nougat Museum is located near the Yongning MRT, which is at the very end of the blue line. We'd never been to Yongning, but Nareesa had been there before and promised that everything was a bit slower, the people were a bit less fashionable and that everyone seemed to have just accepted their fates in Yongning. I'd say so. This was by far the lamest, suckiest, dirtiest area I've been to in Taiwan. The entire place seemed to be torn up and under construction and there was one entire street that was literally lined with thick heaps of garbage. The sidewalk was covered in dog crap everywhere, which Mel was not too impressed to have stepped in- but it was unavoidable. We agreed that if we had gotten off a plane and were brought to Yongning to teach English we would have quickly made up an excuse to go back to the airport ASAP.

We took a taxi to the museum, which is tucked away up a bunch of side streets behind a lot of construction. The admission price was zeezo dollars- score!

When we entered the museum all we saw was this large sales floor and we wondered if a museum actually existed or if this was all just some cruel Yongning trick. After being offered some free samples of nougat by a cheery sales clerk we were ushered to the museum.

The lady who started it all. In 1957 this hot chick brought nougat to Taiwan.

The museum had a lot of old fashioned wooden nougat-making tools on display, but we were expecting to see some nougat being made. Outside of the main part of the museum, down the hall past the bathrooms there is one tiny window where you can peek in and see some modern nougat production. I'm sure they appreciated my camera pressed up against the window.

For some reason the nougat museum had just as many exhibits about traditional weddings as it did about nougat. Maybe nougat is a desired gift of young marrying Taiwanese couples? Here's a traditional couple in their traditional bed.

And in that traditional couple's traditional bed here is the traditional offspring pail. What *the hell* do you suppose goes in there? Is this an exhibit on early abortions?

These "guiding chickens" were also part of the wedding/marriage display. This might just be enough to confirm that we need to have our wedding in Taiwan.

The museum tells us that it is traditional to give cookies and cakes with dragon and phoenix designs at a wedding, and this display was of all the different cookie presses that hot nougat lady has made over the years. Wedding checklist so far: offspring pot, guiding chickens, dragon cake.

After the offspring pail, our second favorite part of the nougat museum was that there were some props that we were allowed to play with. I like the hat, but what is the advantage of carrying things with a stick and two baskets, besides looking so cool? This is why bookbags were invented.

We really liked the museum, but then again we're completely foolish people. With zeezo pieces of nougat purchased we left the museum and walked back down the scuzzy and boring streets of Yongning towards the MRT station. We had noticed a department store called RT Mart and decided to go in. We'd already visited A Mart, J Mart and Hi Mart so far while in Taiwan, so why not go to RT Mart? We started things off in a classy fashion by going up those stairs on the side of the building into the employees only security zone of the warehouse. After we got out of there we shopped around for a bit- it's a perfectly good store- and went back to the station.

It was only 3:30 so there was plenty of time for another activity, but as I previously mentioned, we've already done everything. So we stopped at a giant sized subway map and spun around 5 times with our eyes closed and then pointed at the map to decide where we would go. We each did this so we would have a choice of 3 places. Mel or Nareesa (can't remember who) landed on Houshanpi Station and since none of us had ever been there that's where we went. It was conveniently located EIGHTEEN STOPS away from Yongning and when we got there I realized that we were at the Wufenpu wholesale market, which I'd read about online. This place is massive- I really can't believe we hadn't been there yet. It's just dozens and dozens of streets of clothes shopping, and a lot of the clothes were really cool. A lot of the clothes don't have any prices on them, and I've read that some places will only sell to wholesalers, but overall I would have to say this is definitely the best place to go clothes shopping in Taipei. Good thing none of us brought any money with us since we thought we were just going to a nougat museum! No worries- we all have the next month off so I think we'll be back. There's a pair of boots so tall that they would lace up to the crotch of any normal person that Nareesa needs to buy.

For supper we went to the Warner Village food court near the 101 and got some really satisfying food. Nareesa and I got chicken and beef kabobs with a baked potato and Mel had a tom yum soup with pork which I will be trying the next time I'm there! While I was eating I could see an arcade behind the food court that we decided to go check out. Most of the arcades at home went out of business a decade ago but they are still really popular in Taiwan. We played some air hockey, a race car game, Mel tested her strength with a giant mallet and I played a round of whack-a-mole. Good times!

Yesterday we went to a great restaurant called The Diner and it served exactly what you'd expect- diner food. This might not be special at home, but comfort food like blueberry pancakes, meatloaf and milkshakes are a rare find here and they were done really well. The one disappointment about The Diner was that they were out of ginger ale, which you can't usually buy in Taiwan (it was under the "imported sodas" header on the menu). I literally had to hold Nareesa to console her when the waitress came over to say "mayo Canada Dry". So, tonight we went to Jason's grocery store at the 101 to buy some imported ginger ale. Since we were already at the 101 and since Nareesa has been banging on about this brandy milk tea drink she had there once, we decided to get brandy hot chocolates and brandy milk teas. It's great to be served brandy in a food court. You feel like you're getting away with something! And lets face it- with brandy, you smell like you're trying to get away with something.

And that was our day. We covered a lot of ground and it was fun! Oh yeah, and on the subway ride home a guy with these pants stood in front of us:
Nareesa, probably thanks to the brandy, was in tears within seconds of these ridiculous pants walking onto the train. There's no way he didn't know how funny we found his pants. Especially when I took a picture of the pants. This has inspired me to write a long overdue post about the ridiculous fashion in Taiwan. Watch for that one soon, dawg.