Abandonded (?) Alice In Wonderland ENGLISH Park

We'd driven past it many times on the bus ride to Costco: Alice English Park. Who is this Alice? How do you make a park "English"? There were just so many unanswered questions. On Saturday, we finally decided to check it out.

The ticket booth near the front entrance: nobody's home. And it didn't look like anyone had been home in a while.

WTF a playing card man?

OH- Alice Park is an Alice in Wonderland park- of course! How random. Unfortunately, the park entrance was roped off, so it didn't seem like we'd be able to check the place out. But, quicker than you can say "trespass", we'd walked around the gate and were in the park. I thought the guy in the above photo would yell at us, but he didn't so he obviously wasn't an employee. Later, when we were halfway through the park we saw him sightseeing at the other end. He must have thought that if we could trespass then he could too.

The first thing I noticed, besides the overgrown grass and dug-up ground, was a fenced-off area full of bunnies and one pissed off rooster. He tried to charge at me, but he was tied by the foot and couldn't get close. I will not be reporting whether of not I screamed.

Some of the buildings at the park.


What's inside?

Aha! It is (or was?) an English Village! Mel, Hannah, and I are English Villagey veterans so it was funny to randomly find ourselves in another one so many years later. It was also refreshing to see that they also use a passport-based rewards system.

A building shaped like a top hat.

Inside an upside-down classroom- that picture is actually the ceiling. It looked really cool, but imagine trying to keep the children's attentions with this kind of distraction! It seemed to us that these unique rooms were built to look impressive, but with no concept of how they would be used to teach. There were no desks or chairs, and one of the "classrooms" was just full of small inflatable swimming pools. Still... upside down room= pretty rad.

Finally, I find some fruit in Korea and it's got a hole in it. Groan!

Creepy floor hockey playing area. These Alice in Wonderland promo posters are everywhere, so I really hope Johnny Depp is getting his fair cut of the action on this place.

Strange, dark covered area filled with neglected animals.


There were squirrels, birds, lizards, hamsters, mice and these guys (groundhogs?) who seemed pretty upset. The hamster cage smelled TOXIC. The wooden shavings were so piss soaked that they'd turned black.

After that lovely stroll through the animal cruelty tent, we emerged to find some mushrooms and teepees.

Whatchu smokin', Mr. Caterpillar?

Next up was the cat house (I think the cat is missing a tooth).

These poor little guys were caged up and crying outside the cat house. Mel reports that they, at least, had some food.

Some worksheets about the "Homan Brain" and the "tic TAC clock" left out inside the cat house.

Next to the cat building was this boot. We could hear someone watching TV inside the boot, so we didn't go in, but when I took this picture a guy stepped into the doorway, stared at me, and then went back inside. Do you think he lives in the boot? That's so cool.

This log, made out of cardboard and spacious enough for two full humans, marked the end of Alice Park. But wait- what's that inside the "log"?

A flat screen TV, of course! Where, I assume, Disney's "Alice in Wonderland" airs non-stop on a loop all day long.

It was hard to tell if this Alice Park English Village is still up and running. The lights were all on and there were a lot of books and materials left laying around everywhere. But at the same time, it was a really messy, overgrown, and run-down looking place. I can't imagine anyone sending their kid there. When we got home, we Googled the park and we could see that as recently as last summer the Park was holding "Indian" camps... which sounds.. rewarding...

Anyway, if any of you out there send your kid to Alice Park to be an Indian for the day, would you mind sending some animal food along with them. I feel bad for those things. Please don't blame English, little animals! It's not our fault :( What a strange place.